What to Do If Someone Tells You They Experienced Sexual Violence
You may not be an expert on sex, or a professional counselor educated and equipped to deal with a serious issue like sexual assault. That’s perfectly fine. However, you may encounter someone in your life who trusts you and confides in you that they have been violated in one way or another. As a mentor, what should you do in that situation?
1 – Listen
The single most important thing you can do is listen. Be open to their story, actively demonstrate you care, and show them that they are not alone in dealing with this challenge. It can be giving vocal affirmations of what they are saying. It is about being responsive to them. Find out what they are willing to share without pressuring for more information. Understand that they have been victimized and what they want most of all is a feeling that they are now safe with you. As a mentor, they are looking to you for guidance. How you react can influence how they feel. Be open and receptive and keep your body language open and receptive as well. Most importantly, you want to help them feel safe with you.
2 – Be Serious
Someone who has been a victim of sexual assault may be in a very fragile state of mind. Making light-hearted jokes to “cheer them up” may backfire and have awful unintended consequences. Be serious and earnest in your approach. Help them plan their next course of action and show them you are a reliable friend they can trust. ItStartsWithUsNM.org has many great resources that you can share with your teen that can help them move forward.
3 – Find Help Together
After being violated it’s very easy for emotions to get the best of anyone. Finding a path forward can be especially difficult and even the easiest decisions can feel overwhelming. As a mentor, if a teen reaches out to you for advice, that’s a big step. You can support them in taking next steps.